Between the ages of say 21 and 30 or so, if you had asked me what religion I was I probably would’ve said Buddhist. I didn’t belong to a sangha or sit with a sensei. I was more attracted to it philosophically. After leaving Christianity (turns out I never really left, what I left was Seventh Day Adventism) I had delved deeply into mythology and comparative literature. I even considered pursuing my PhD in those fields. The more I saw the similarities of myths across cultures, the more convinced I became that there was an eternal mystery that held us all together. I wasn’t ready yet to resume the language of Christianity to talk about that mystery (that’s a post for another day). But Buddhism let me talk about this mystery in a way that seemed more rational, almost like I was talking about psychology not religion.

I don’t think there are many conflicts between Christianity and Buddhism. I have several close friends who would hold they are both at the same time. I think I stopped calling myself a Christian because I was embarrassed by other Christians, and I held some mistaken beliefs about Christianity from my strange SDA upbringing. But knowing what I know of Christianity today, I don’t think I ever had a conflict with Christian theology. I just found Buddhism an easier way to explain what seemed like universal truths without all the Bible-thumping baggage.

In the end though, I was lured to Jesus. I’m a Jesus freak through and through. My encounters with Jesus convinced me that a couple of major Buddhist ideas were incompatible with my experience of life. Yet, as I journeyed back into the faith, I struggled to find Christian concepts that were as helpful spiritually and psychologically as some of the Buddhist concepts I fell in love with. So, I’m going to briefly explore some of that here and some of the things I’ve learned over the last two decades of recommitted Christian faith.

Important note before we begin: I’m a Christian who blogs about Christian theology and I would never in a million posts claim to understand the real “truth,” about any part of Christianity. We’re all just negotiating as best we can what a life in Christ looks like based on what we can learn from 2,000 years of other people following Jesus. Yet even though one can never explore the full extent of one’s own religion, there are many people who think they know all they can about other people’s religions. It is easy to fall back on stereotypes when it comes to other religions even when you see wild diversity in your own. So, it needs to be said that everything I say about Buddhism here should be taken even less seriously than what I say about Christianity. Much less. If I mischaracterize anything and need correction, feel free to nail me in the comments. I’m only sharing one blogger’s path.

80% Buddhist, 100% Christian

I only have a couple issues with Buddhism and frankly, they may be a result of my own misunderstandings. First, I remain convinced of the presence of a loving God and that presence expressed through a living Christ. In other words, I’m very much a theist. Second, I’m also convinced that there is something unique in our individual self, our personality, that is important and permanent.

The best example of my Buddhist-friendly theism is that I now call meditation, “contemplative prayer.” There is a long tradition in both religions that is nearly identical in practice. It’s surprising to most spiritual-but-not-religious types that in Christianity we call silent prayer contemplation and not meditation. Conversely, what we call meditation is an active engagement with spiritual content such as repeating a bible verse. But the difference is more than semantics. I experience the presence of God in contemplative prayer. I experience a personal relationship, not just an emptying out. I feel this strong loving presence that can only be described as God.

Now, there are plenty of Buddhists who would call themselves theists as well. There are Christians who might refer to themselves as Zen practitioners without giving up their theism. We could debate endlessly about the differences between Brahma and an old man in the sky. But my experience of God is too real for me to relinquish, and I think ultimately most Buddhists turn from classical theism. Is God a collective consciousness, a great mind we participate in? Yes, perhaps Buddhists and Christians can agree on that. But to me, God is also a person who loves me and sits with me in contemplation.

I also struggle with the Buddhist concept of Anattā, or nonself. How I understand this concept is that there is no unchanging “self,” or permanent personality in each person. This is in stark contrast to Christian belief in a bodily resurrection. If there is no self, a bodily resurrection makes absolutely no sense because what is being resurrected? I believe Jesus was resurrected and that it teaches us something about the immortality of our own souls and God’s ultimate plan for us. But even without my Christian beliefs, I have a hard time making sense of free will and moral responsibility if the self is an illusion. You may not have those issues. You may disagree with concepts of human freedom. My point is not to argue here one way or the other just express some reservations I developed with Buddhism.

Some of you may argue that the concept of nonself is really about nonattachment. It is a concept that helps you on your path, not a fundamental doctrine about morality and existence. I’m fine with that and I do believe that the ego creates a false self. If that is what you are denying, I’m right there with you.

Ephesians 4:20-24

That is not the way you learned Christ! For surely you have heard about him and were taught in him, as truth is in Jesus, to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

But the idea of nonself as escaping our individual and unique personality devalues creation and turns our experience into an illusion or simulation or dream. I have the same question for Buddhists who believe in Maya that I have for atheists who believe consciousness is emergent from our biology: if reality or consciousness is an illusion, who is experiencing the illusion? There is something more to our consciousness and individual spirits than an illusion. Giving up on individual selves not only invalidates a moral framework based on individual freedom and responsibility, it undermines the real beauty of good creation. We are more than an illusion. We are more than a collective existence. There is revelation and divine grace interacting with us individually and if that isn’t permanent, I fail to see any purpose in any of it. You may argue further that there is no purpose in any of this, but my version of Pascal’s wager is to resist nihilism. If there is no purpose to my individual being, I still want to pretend that there is, or I may go insane.

What I Love About Buddhism

Those are no small issues, but plenty of people can set them aside and continue to practice Buddhism. Why? Because there are so many great things about Buddhism. My problem is not that I think Buddhism is somehow “wrong,” it’s that I felt theism and my belief in the resurrection of Jesus presented strong philosophical stumbling blocks for me in practicing Buddhism. So, my dilemma became, “what do I do with all these things I love about Buddhism — all these things that once saved my life — if I want to live as a Christian?”

For years, I tried to just practice both and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I had this deep-down feeling that Christianity was correct and that God’s revelation in other religions would be consistent with God’s aims. Somewhat paradoxically, the work of Paul Knitter who is both a Buddhist and a Christian helped me firm up some of my ideas around religious inclusivism. So, you see, it’s quite easy for someone to be both, I just preferred to be as Christian as possible in my path. (Note: I believe from what I’ve read of Knitter that he would disagree with my belief that God is a person who is in relationship with us.)

I don’t know if this helps anyone but me, but I spent a lot of time thinking about how to reorient the Buddhist concepts I loved into already existing Christian concepts. It turns out I didn’t need to reorient much, that these things were already there inside of Christianity. You just wouldn’t necessarily know that if you were raised in a sort of American fundangelical background like I was.

Here are how I think about some core Buddhist doctrines and philosophies now in a Christian framework.

Taking Refuge in the Three Jewels

This one is the easiest to translate for me. The three Jewels in Buddhism are The Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. The Buddha is the enlightened one that goes before us. I love all the stories of the Buddha but to me they pale compared to Christ. Christ shows us how to live God’s purpose for us, but I can still appreciate the Buddha as I would any other teacher. Reading about the Buddha helps me balance mythology and history, too. I have no problem seeing parts of the Buddha’s story as entirely mythological and allegorical, there to teach us a lesson beyond historical fact. It’s helpful to see Jesus’s story in that lens sometimes as well.

A quick translation of Dharma is teachings, but it’s quite more than that. In Christianity, we’d call it revelation. I have some beliefs about revelation that I think are quite natural but may be surprising to more conservative believers. I think revelation is more than Christ and the Bible and includes our own logic, science, philosophy as well as an abundant source of natural revelation all around us. Take a walk in the Colorado woods and you’ll be convinced of God’s revelation beyond scripture. What is interesting is that most Buddhists I know – again, the ones I know and not necessarily what is typical of all Buddhists – consider teachings to be passed down and expounded upon by wise teachers and personal experience. Unfortunately, many Christians think teaching ended with the last words of the Bible. I like to practice a living faith that continues to twist and turn and provide new revelations of how loving God and neighbor apply in modern times.

The Sangha is the spiritual community and there are plenty to choose from in Christianity. It’s important to find and learn from people who continue to practice the faith. In Christianity, I also think that weekly communion and confession is exceptionally important as means of grace that connect you with God.

Four Noble Truths

A very gross simplification of the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism could be:

• We all suffer
• Attachment or desire is the source of suffering
• You can end suffering – some would say reach Nirvana – by giving up on attachment and desire.
• The way to do this is the Eightfold Path where what we think (right view, intention) leads to what we do (right speech, action, livelihood and effort) and strengthened by our practice (right mindfulness, concentration)

I think these are very true, but Christianity provides an extra lens on top of it all. Our separation from God is the primary cause of suffering. Sin is our word for that separation, that suffering. It’s more a state of being than it is something we do, but certainly we do a lot in reaction to that separation that causes a lot more suffering and that of course is also sin.

Separation from God has left us feeling inadequate. It makes us feel shame. John Green said in a recent vlog that, “human consciousness itself is so rare and precious and wonderful,” that none of us should feel that shame. God made us in God’s image, and we should spend our time connecting with God and celebrating God’s amazing gifts. Instead, because of sin and suffering, we feel inadequate or worse. That inadequacy causes our ego, our false self, to grasp at anything to cover up the inadequacy. That is attachment and desire, and it is never quenched. The more we get attached the more desire we feel and vice-versa.

How do I think that works? We are separate from God, that is sin, that is suffering. Jesus is the bridge for that separation, but we don’t spend a lot of time following Christ, identifying with Christ or just sitting in contemplation trying to heal the separation. Instead, we look for ways to fill the gap. Those ways are kind of addicting even though they ultimately fail. In that way, our own ego compensation is a little bit like drugs. Drugs are amazing for about 20 minutes and then they fail. They’re only good at one thing, making us want to take more drugs. That is attachment. I have separation from God that causes me anxiety so instead of turning harder to God, I try to cover that anxiety with affection, esteem, possessions, power and all kinds of vanities that make me feel good for 20 minutes more until I crash again in the comedown of my human sin. The twist that for me is more clarifying than the second Noble Truth is that it is actually separation from God – sin – that causes suffering initially and then suffering leads to attachment which then indeed causes more suffering. More simply, attachment causes suffering, but separation from God spurred on our attachment. So it seems to me our effort would be better focused reconnecting with Christ rather than focused on instances of attachment. That is easier said than done so I do spend quite a bit of time considering the idols in my life, the attachments that drive me further from God and purpose, the empty spiritual drugs to which I’m addicted.

I’m clearly biased – like every other human – but I think Christianity is like the Eightfold Path with greater clarity of our real God-given purposes. Christ was clear about right view and intention by modelling love of God, love of neighbor and forgiveness. Christ modelled right action and gave us some simple examples in Matthew 25: feed the hungry, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked and visit the imprisoned. And in terms of mindfulness, Christianity provides an embarrassment of riches. There are so many contemplative paths for you to pursue from prayer to meditation to Lectio Divina to the Jesus prayer to prayer beads and more. But because of my bias, I feel more directed in these paths. I’m not simply emptying out; I am reconnecting to God to be molded more closely in my original purpose.

Attachment

Despite what I said above about the root cause of our suffering being separation from God, I do find it exceptionally practical to my psychological health to root out attachments. Buddhism helped me through many youthful moments of suffering by teaching me the dangers of attachment. A lot of my depression, anxiety and unhappiness really was the result of being attached to things and ideas that didn’t make me happy or could never be realized. Attachment, codependency, outsized expectations, ego identification all made me miserable. Buddhism taught me to be a leaf on life’s water. You cannot fight the water, or your leaf gets destroyed. You simply enjoy the ride.

Christianity teaches the same thing; you just wouldn’t know it if you listen to some of the more popular Christians. Many churches teach you to become even more attached by focusing on wealth, politics, comfort and other misreadings of the so-called prosperity gospel. They’re selling some bad drugs. And as Chance sings, “we don’t do the same drugs no more.”

Father Thomas Keating taught that our attachments really derive from emotional happiness programs in which we get stuck. We think they give us happiness, but they lead to suffering and paradoxically when we feel that suffering, we grasp for more happiness programs. We’re attached to specific outcomes instead of attaching ourselves to Christ. The programs are safety-security, affection-esteem, and power-control. Those are the main things we’re attached to. If you prefer, you might think of attachments here in terms of the seven deadly sins. Pride is the big one and leads to most of the others. It’s our visceral reaction to separation from God. Rather than encouraging us to walk in the soft evenings with God, the serpent promises us, “you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Pride can hide your separation from God leading to even more attachment. Gluttony and greed stem from our fear of not having enough security and safety. Lust and envy tap into our desire for affection and esteem. Wrath and sloth (in the sense of shirking our personal responsibilities) stem from desire for power and control.

Christ provides an excellent way to short-circuit attachment in the beatitudes. We can see all the many ways we get tangled up in our attachments in the beatitudes.

Matthew 5:3-12

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

It would take an entire other blog post to explore these fully. Father Keating suggests reading them starting with, “imagine how happy you could be,” instead of, “Blessed are,” to make it hit home a little harder. For example, “imagine how happy you could be if you were poor in spirit and nothing stood between you and your trust of God in God’s kingdom.” Are you attached to pride and specific outcomes? That is keeping you from God. Become unattached – poor in spirit.

Stay On Your Path

My purpose is not to persuade anyone who loves Buddhism to stop practicing it. Stay on your path. My purpose is just to show there’s no enormous inconsistency that can’t be overcome if you want to do both. Also, if you’re a devout Christian who is attracted to Buddhism, spend some time studying your own faith because you’ll find most of those ideas inside of Christianity along with the joy of theism, personal identity and a God wanting to end your separation and walk beside you.